John Amodeo

Being on a spiritual path allows us to connect with something larger than ourselves. Along the way, there is often a human tendency to bypass feelings and longings that are uncomfortable or difficult.  We move toward emotional and spiritual maturity as we uncover and welcome our deepest feelings and longings.  By bringing loving-kindness and a warm acceptance to whatever we're experiencing, we cultivate a spacious presence to our inner world, which makes us more available for meaningful connections with others. This award-winning book explores relationships as a spiritual path--a  vehicle for integrating our desire for intimacy, fulfillment, and joy with a robust spiritual life. 
  

"This is a sane, sound, readable, and eminently useful book. It is a carefully guided sequence of exercises, guidelines, explanations, and case examples, all thoughtfully geared to facilitate the two-fold movement of befriending self and befriending others, particularly intimates." 

-- Ken Wilber, author of A Brief History of Everything

"Being Intimate is a practical and original approach for individuals and couples that could make all the difference between happiness and painful separation."
-- Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

"John and Kris's book is a fine blend of the tools of modern psychotherapy and spiritual understanding. It will be helpful to those who wish to learn about these paths of growth."
--Jack Kornfield, author of  After the Ecstasy, the Laundry

"This book provides a useful grid through which the reader can both look at the vast array of human stumbling blocks to intimacy and the author's helpful directions/suggestions for change."
--Virginia Satir, author of Conjoint Family Therapy

*Being Intimate is a clear and practical guide to the realization and communication or authentic feelings, and thus an excellent pathway toward lasting intimacy and love."
--George Leonard, author of Education and Ecstasy

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-- Jack Kornfield, PhD, best-selling author of A Path With Heart

"Dancing With Fire  brilliantly bridges the chasm between the stillness of meditation and the fierce passion and challenge of intimate relationships. John Amodeo heals the apparent rift, showing us how these are ultimately one and the same path."

-- Peter A. Levine PhD, best-selling author of Waking the Tiger

"A fresh and lucid voice in our emerging Western spirituality, John Amodeo offers a powerful synthesis of Buddhist teachings with attachment theory and the best of Western psychological understanding. Particularly compelling and promising is the weaving of Focusing, a body-oriented psychotherapy developed by Eugene Gendlin, with mindfulness meditation. Through this, and deep insights into the nature of relationships, Dancing with Fire gives us invaluable guidance in cultivating true intimacy with our lives."

-- Tara Brach, PhD, best-selling author of Radical Acceptance

"John Amodeo opens a new door into great truths of Buddhism and what they mean for our western world. He links meditation, mindfulness, humanistic psychology and the science of human bonding into a coherent whole. This book is a great contribution and a must read for every intelligent person who aspires to live as an awake and vibrant human being."

-- Dr. Sue  Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight

"With heartfelt kindness and down-to-earth usefulness, this book shows how to bring together lofty spiritual wisdom and juicy human passions. Drawing on his deep experience as a therapist and meditator, Dr. Amodeo has given us one of those rare books that actually bridges left and right brain, west and east, flesh and spirit - and self and other. "

-- Rick Hanson, PhD, best-selling author of Buddha's Brain

"Profoundly wise and beautifully written, this book is for anyone who ever wondered how to reconcile the spiritual journey with the paths of self-healing and intimacy with others.  A gifted writer at the top of his form, John Amodeo's book is not just about authenticity and connection, it actually offers those experiences as one reads. A life-changing book."

-- Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD, author of The Power of Focusing

"With masterful, lucid simplicity, Dancing with Fire  gives us a vision of how to make a fervent quest for spiritual freedom dovetail with an equally ardent search for love and intimate connection. Amodeo has created a founding treatise for the new, embodied wholeness so many of us yearn to find today. Yet reading it doesn't feel like listening to a sage give a lecture; it feels like you're having a conversation with a trusted friend."

-- Saniel Bonder, founder of Waking Down in Mutuality, author, Healing the Spirit/Matter Split

"Seekers of the sacred will find within these pages no ordinary wedding of East and West. Instead, John Amodeo invites us to reconcile the split between our worldly desire for intimacy and pleasure with our yearning for a robust spiritual life. His own tender voice seeps through each page--guiding us like a beacon of light toward a deeper, juicier connection with ourselves and each other, inspiring a passionate spirituality. John's best book yet!"

-- Maggie Kline, MFT,  co-author of Trauma through a Child's Eyes 

"Liberation and awakening are about being fully human. Spiritual awakening, personal growth, fullness of relating, learning to be a more healing presence for others, fulfillment through intimacy--these are all just different names for the same thing. The fact that a split has developed--many splits, in fact--between therapy, spirituality, and personal growth is a sign that something has gone wrong. There has to be a re-integration. This book is an important landmark on the path to such wholeness."

-- David Brazier,  leader of the Amida Order and author of The Feeling Buddha

"John Amodeo has written an extremely compelling and fascinating book and one that has been long overdue.  All too many people on a so-called 'spiritual path' are actually looking for more subtle and effective ways of short-circuiting the pain that is inherent in life. He clearly illuminates the lack of any contradiction between practicing mindful living and creating intimacy in one's relationships. His distinction between the extinguishing of desires and attachments and working skillfully with them is incredibly important and offers a clear path toward living life with engagement and open-heartedness."

-- Charlie Bloom, co-author of 101 Things I Wish I knew When I Got Married

"We owe John Amodeo a debt of gratitude for providing all of us with valuable insights on the connection between mindfulness and deepening intimacy in relationships. Whether you see yourself as nurtured by spiritual practice or psychological growth, read on and your heart will be touched, your mind opened. I highly recommend this fine book as an important guide for all those who seek genuine happiness and greater awareness."

--- Charles Garfield, PhD, author of Sometimes My Heart Goes Numb

"Amodeo brings what often remains lofty conversation into our kitchens and bedrooms. He shows how meditative awareness can help us develop more vital relationships while helping us embody spiritual realization more fully in everyday life. The writing style is warm and inviting, like having a conversation with a wise and gentle friend. This book is wonderful contribution to the emerging relationship yoga of the West."

-- Jett Psaris, PhD, co-author of Undefended Love

"A bold adaptation of Eastern spirituality to bring about loving, intimate connections."

-- Daniel B. Wile, PhD, author of After the Fight

"John Amodeo's brilliantly written, incisive, and heart-centered book provides a multi-layered in-depth journey demonstrating why we need both the spiritual teachings on mindfulness along with Western approaches, like Focusing and Emotionally Focused Therapy, to truly live an awakened, embodied life of sacred intimacy within oneself, relationships, and life itself!"

 -- Laury Rappaport, PhD,  author of Focusing-Oriented Art Therapy

"Brilliant, liberating, clarifying wisdom for meditators of every persuasion! One of the most helpful books ever written on spiritual practice."

-- Deborah Boyar, PhD, Senior Teacher, Waking Down in Mutuality

“The Power of Gentle Presence is a luminous guide for those seeking to deepen their connection with themselves and others. With the wisdom of a seasoned psychotherapist and the heart of a spiritual teacher, John Amodeo invites us to slow down and attune to the subtle “felt sense” of our inner experience. In doing so, we discover a pathway to profound healing, authentic intimacy, and spiritual awakening.”

 Tara Brach, PhD

Author of Radical Compassion

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“What a treasure this book is! 

Powerfully inspirational reading for anyone seeking inner peace, greater self-acceptance, and more joy in their lives. John shows how to remove barriers to deeper connections with ourselves and others—by befriending emotions, releasing shame, and supporting compassionate spiritual growth.”

Peter A. Levine, PhD
Author of Waking the Tiger

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“Distilling wisdom and practical experience from decades of working with clients, Amodeo’s Gentle Presence provides readers with a myriad of mindfulness and awareness practices. These guide the reader to the powerful interconnection and intimacy available to all.”

Sharon Salzberg
Author of Lovingkindness

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“Seamlessly weaving together insights from ancient wisdom traditions and decades of clinical and spiritual practice, Dr. Amodeo provides a wealth of practical tools to help us love and connect more deeply with ourselves and one another. With warmth, humility, and compassion, he illuminates how intimacy and spiritual development are inextricably intertwined and how together they can help us live richer, happier, more loving and more fulfilling lives.”

Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD
Author of The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary. Assistant Professor of Psychology, Harvard Medical School

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“Gentle Presence is a manual of practical and universal wisdom, offered with the gentle, humorous voice of a kind friend. In its pages, we recognize ourselves in our shared humanness, struggling with familiar emotional challenges like worry about worry and the need to be right. Reading these illuminating vignettes about universal human issues, I felt I was being enfolded in comfort and acceptance. For John Amodeo, wisdom comes from empathy and understanding. This book will leave you calmer and more ready to meet the ups and downs of these times.”

 Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD

Co-author of Untangling: How You Can Transform What’s Impossibly Stuck

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“In this beautiful collection of essays, John Amodeo has created 57 powerful ways to approach his core teaching that “emotional healing and spiritual growth don’t come from bypassing our feelings or trying to delete inconvenient parts of ourselves.” Instead, they emerge when we have the courage to be present with what arises. There is great wisdom here. It’s the kind of book that you can pick up and read just one chapter to get a quick hit of inspiration. I recommend it highly.”

Susan Campbell, PhD
Author of From Triggered to Tranquil

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“John’s book builds on the principles of Focusing and mindfulness to expand the meaning of intimacy. The challenge is to unite inner calm with inter-connection. The key he provides is presence and gratitude, realism about what we do and don’t control, and how to deal with setbacks in life. There is a good deal here about self-care, and much practical advice reinforced by personal anecdote. It is an optimistic book, looking forward to a more feelingful and spiritual future, not just for individuals, but for society as a whole.”

 David Brazier, PhD

Author of The Feeling Buddha

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 “Thank you, John Amodeo, for gathering timeless 

wisdom from diverse spiritual traditions that have endured through the ages. Your work offers rich, practical examples of spiritual practices that deepen our connections with others.”

 Linda Bloom, LCSW

Co-author of An End to Arguing

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“John weaves together Western psychology and Eastern wisdom in this gem of a book. We love the depth and integration in his writing and have recommended many of his books to our clients. This book will change your life. Get one for yourself and your friends.”

 Sheila Rubin, LMFT & Bret Lyon, PhD

Authors of Embracing Shame

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“A precious guide from a wise soul who has obviously lived a lifetime of spiritual practice, John’s essays were easy to read and hard to put down. He repeatedly, but ever so gently, awakens us to what it means to be an authentically loving human with the lightness of a feather. His sense of humor, vulnerability, and soothing words, coaxed frequent pauses to sense my own deeper feelings of tenderness and interconnectedness with myself and all creatures.”

 Maggie Kline, LMFT

Co-author with Peter A. Levine of Trauma through a Child’s Eyes

Drawing on over forty years as a psychotherapist and fifty years as a spiritual practitioner, John offers fresh, compassionate insights into how we can relate more authentically—with ourselves and others. Weaving together Buddhist and Western psychology—including Attachment Theory and the experiential practice of Focusing—he offers practical guidance for meeting our feelings with gentleness and curiosity, healing shame, and welcoming the full richness of our inner life. 

Through brief, heartfelt reflections, this book invites us to slow down, transform self-judgment, and open to greater ease, joy, and meaning in our lives and relationships.

You can purchase this book here

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